Category Archives: More than Married for Life Principals

The Wow Vow

I, Scott, take you Ellen as my wife, to enjoy seeing you and to feel good being around you from this day forward, to have my expectations met, to be encouraged by you, cared for when I’m sick, supported when I’m out of work, and to feel proud introducing you to my friends, until I choose to walk away because I don’t feel the same emotional attachment to you that I do today.”

Marriage vows aren’t like that.  In the vast majority of marriages, both people agree to care deeply for the other, not to gain personally from their behavior but because they want what’s best for their spouse.  That’s love, and when it perseveres and grows , you’ve got a formula for a satisfying relationship that will deeply touch the heart and soul of both parties.
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How’s your relationship?

These Numbers Didn’t Lie

Ellen and I were reminiscing recently about one of our favorite stories (one of those ‘I’m such a good husband’ tales) so we decided to share it with you.  It’s basically a statistical analysis of how I rated as a supportive help-mate for my wife.

Sharing the Load (Bloomsations and More)

Years ago, something happened (or didn’t happen) prompting Ellen to voice the opinion that I wasn’t  pulling my own weight around the house.  Knowing deep within how completely incorrect she was, I was deeply hurt and fired up to prove her wrong.  My fourth grade teacher said I had a future in math so I decided to make this a numbers thing.

Grabbing a sheet of paper, I started listing household tasks in one column and then created two adjacent columns to record the percentage of each chore Ellen and I performed.  How sweet this was going to be when, upon completing the list, I would see the 50/50 split in nearly every category, except for those where the percentage was heavily weighted on my side.

The first job, taking out the trash, went 30% Ellen, 70% Scott, and I was feeling vindicated and proud of it.  Next was cooking meals; Ellen 65% – Scott 35%.  Nothing to worry about…there was a long list below to work through.

  • Making beds: Ellen 85% – Scott 15%
  • Washing dishes: Ellen 70% – Scott 30%
  • Ironing cloths: Ellen 95% – Scott 5% (for putting up the ironing board)
  • Buying gifts for my family: Ellen 80% – Scott 20% (think they know?)
  • Yard work: (I knew this was mine) Ellen 75% – Scott 25% (Ouch!)

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The list kept on going and the numbers, way to often, ended up being 60% and above on Ellen’s side.  You know what’s worse than being proud and arrogant?  Knowing that you’re both without any basis in fact for being that way.  Numerically, I was crucified.

Since that day, my scores have improved.  At least I think they have; I’m not eager to retake the test and probably destroyed all evidence of the list shortly after I asked Ellen to forgive me for not being the type of husband I’d promised when we got married.

So why is such a humiliating story a favorite of ours?  It marked a turning point in my commitment to love, honor, and respect Ellen in a way that demonstrated how important she is in my life.  We keep learning that love isn’t as much about how we feel but rather how we act and that brings us to a More than Married for Life principal.

You Won’t be Perfect – You Can Grow Better!


  • Want to find out if I’ve changed?  Leave a comment and ask Ellen what the scores would be now.
  • Think you could pass the test?  Grab a piece of paper and get started.
  • Need to talk about who’s statistically behind the other in your relationship?  Feel free to get in touch